I SEE this question posted with some regularity in the personal ads, so I thought I’d take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there who haven’t figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: You did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy — the one that you were intimate with — treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girl friends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, you thought, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too old or too young, too short, or too  poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, you thought, a little weird, if you weren’t dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became “boring,” or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend.

Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that modern women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the jerk boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some real money, and generally acted like more of an ass than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he’s probably “getting some,” and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of where it’s been.
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab hold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you still don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you and your social set have ruined your life. You’re getting older, after all. It’s time to excise the mental garbage and posing and deal with reality. You didn’t want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t goddamned want you now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy.

EDITOR’S NOTE: It is the sex-without-love attitudes inculcated by the mass media and the anti-Nature “sophisticates” that are responsible for the breakdown in the love relations between men and women in the West. And the resulting below-replacement birthrates spell our doom unless we change things, fast. Nice guys have the right instincts, but little insight. Both sexes need to treasure and love and appreciate each other if we intend to survive as a civilization — and have meaningful lives as individuals. — M.P. Shiel

FACED WITH a relentless campaign — the most recent salvo is from none other than the Washington Post — encouraging African-Americans to abandon their heritage when it comes to marriage and sexual relationships, some black folks have decided to stand up for the continued existence of black families. An organization has been formed to help African-Americans find potential mates in black communities around the globe, instead of caving in to the evident agenda of the billionaire-owned media. Historically, empires (from the Assyrians to the Spanish to the Empire of Dollars we have today) have always encouraged interracial relationships because they dilute the identities of their subject peoples — and such mixing eventually causes troublesome groups to disappear. (Of course, the empire’s spokesmen always say that they are motivated by things like “love” and “fairness” and “equality” and “diversity.”)

Well, the activist who goes by the name of African Diasporan doesn’t want his people to disappear. He’s started a Web site called African Diasporan Relationships, and here’s what he has to say:

‘Is dating and marriage between blacks throughout the African Diaspora the future of black relationships? In my opinion it is and here is the reason why: It is no secret that black men and women in America are having difficulties in recent years in terms of what we expect from one another, and dating prospects within our community. Indeed there have been numerous discussions held on the Internet, TV, in movies and magazines on this very subject. Typical in these debates will be statistics showing the number of African American men in prisons, the number of homosexuals in the African American community; single mothers raising children without the support of any male figure; the ratio of educated black women compared to that of educated black men; and arguments about the so-called shortage of black males.

‘In almost all of these debates, choosing to date different cultures is a proposed solution to the perceived shortage of desirable dating prospects in the African American community. By different cultures, the authors and participants of these debates are almost always referring to interracial dating. Whether it be whites, Hispanics, or Asians; the implication is that black people cannot find differences of beliefs and experience among our own. Nothing could be further from the truth! It is not necessary to go outside of the race to explore different cultures and attitudes towards dating, family, and male-female relations. Black people are literally all over the world. Occupying over 40 different countries in Africa alone, as well as countries in Europe, the Caribbean, South America, and Canada. Each country has its own unique culture, beliefs, and value system.

‘This Web site was created to celebrate these types of relationships, and to recognize the potential they have to strengthen black families throughout the world. The potential for learning more about black cultures and building strong black families is one I can personally testify to, as I am in an African Diasporan marriage. As an African American man, I have been married to a beautiful African woman (born in Europe) for the past ten years. This marriage has produced two beautiful children with African names and full knowledge of their heritage. The relationship has allowed us both to explore different foods, listen to different music, and to visit other countries. The potential and promise of African Diasporan relationships is that they allow black people to broaden their knowledge and experience of different cultures while simultaneously strengthening the bonds of black communities. African Diasporan relationships gives black people to opportunity to not only build bridges but to create communities. In short African Diasporan relationships are the future of black relationships….’

More and more people — African-Americans and many others — are realizing that surviving as a people in modern times takes active effort, not just unspoken hopes.